earthquakes vs tornados

I won’t lie: I miss earthquakes. I *hate* getting the emergency text messages of, “BT dubs, TORNADO in your area, get your ASS into the ground NOW.” Srsly. It’s not cool.

Earthquakes are like surprise parties: you get the shit scared out of you, drink too much, and throw up on your shoes. Tornados are like election years: they drag on forever and even if the guy you voted for wins, the aftermath still takes forever to mop up.

Me to a RLF on the Book of Face recently during a conversation re: the recent quake in Napa, California. I should also mention that I am a California native recently transplanted to Colorado. There’s been a learning curve.


*Second quote edited slightly to make me sound more erudite than I manage IRL. #transparency